If You Desire to Get Married, Here Is How to Get a Good Man
Dear Daughters & YBW:
As I have said to you many times, if I were a woman, I wouldn’t be bothered with getting married. I would get my education, pursue my purpose in life, do missionary work, travel, and just have myself a grand old time. However, I am not a woman. What women see in men, I have no clue, but that is how God has wired us. He made men to be attracted to women, and women to be attracted to men. (Even though today, we have many men and women who are getting it all twisted — if you know what I mean.)
Be that as it may, if you want to get married to a great man, a man who will love the Lord and who will love you, here is what you need to do:
1. Start praying to God now for the husband He wants you to have. God still answers prayer. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7:7: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Daughters, from the time your mother, Meriqua, was a little girl, she prayed for and desired a preacher as a husband, and that is what she got. (Only she did not specify what kind of preacher. You better be specific.)
2. If you want a good man, you must be a good woman. What is a good woman? Well, in short, a good woman is:
a. A woman who is trustworthy. She tells the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth every time. According to the Scriptures regarding the virtuous woman, the Bible says: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”
b. A woman who knows how to show respect for her man. She has the wisdom to let the man be a man, and she never does anything to embarrass him, at home, or elsewhere. She knows that the main thing a man wants, even above love itself, is respect. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:33: “And the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
c. A good woman knows that she must take care of her husband, her children, and her home before she tries to take care of other people’s business. She is willing to let the job go if it’s taking away from domestic tranquility. Notice what the Bible says in Proverbs 7:11 about the bad woman: “She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house.”
3. Keep yourself pure at all costs. (Please see Letter 25 entitled “On Remaining a Virgin until You Get Married.”) Be pure in your spirit, be pure in your mind, be pure in your heart, and be pure in your body. It is amazing how God makes that pureness to shine through. Have you ever seen a young woman, say around twenty-two, but when you get up close to her, she looks like she is forty-two? Well, that comes from living a fast, impure life. You can’t hide purity, and you can’t hide impurity either.
4. Don’t look for a man. Whatever you do, do not look for a man. When God wants you to get married, He will bring the man to you. Do you remember the stories of Rachel and Rebekah in the Bible, and how God miraculously blessed them with two great men as their husbands? God actually brought their husbands to them; they did not go looking for their husbands. We have absolutely too many young women today on the hunt for good men. The problem with that is if you get a good man, and God is not in it, there will be hell to pay. One of the most pitiful sights in America is a desperate black woman.
5. Plan your life to be with a man, and plan your life to be without a man. I say this because I do not want you to feel badly about yourself if you don’t get married. The truth of the matter is that there are not that many good black men to choose from, and that is no fault of God’s or yours. It is the fault of the choices that many young black men have made. We have too many young black men in jail; we have too many young black men who are homosexuals; and we have too many young black men who won’t finish high school and attend college, and therefore, can’t support a family if they had one.
6. Trust the Lord! I am afraid, that we have many young women today who go to church on Sunday, and say that they trust in the Lord, but they really don’t. They go right on out of the church and try to make things happen themselves.
7. If you do the right thing, you will be in the right place, at the right time. Always walk in the will of God, and He’ll put you in the right place at the right time. God’s Word says in Psalm 37:4: “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
These are just some thoughts that will help you get the man that God wants you to have.
With Lots of Love,
“Do not open your heart to every man, but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and who fears God.”
–Thomas à Kempis
BIBLE GEM: “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.”
–Song of Solomon 8:7
TALK TO GOD: Holy Father, I pray that if it is Your will, that You would send me the husband that You want me to have. I pray that in the meantime, You would make me into the godly, virtuous, and caring woman that You want me to be. Prepare my future husband for me and me for him, and I leave the rest of the details up to You. In Your Holy name. Amen.
BOOK: Jacob and Rachel: The Greatest Love Story, by Helen Wood
CHECK IT OUT: www.michellehammond.com
Source: Excerpted from Letters to Young Black Women,
by Daniel Whyte III (www.TorchLegacy.com)